William is shown here enjoying his favorite sugar-based confection; the cupcake. He gets so jacked up on these things, it typically takes 3 SWAT Teams to bring him down. Click on the pic to enlarge.

Hodgepodge Society Codename: Cupcake

Hodgepodge Chapter: Greenland

Distinguishing Marks: Assorted harpoon wounds, generally pleasant demeanor even while being pummelled, smeels like he's been bio-engineered.

Date of Hodgepodge Society Induction: 2006

Bio: William was discovered in 1942 by German scientists during WWII while trying to fuse together the DNA of an English captive with a bear, a shark and a squirrel in their seamlessly unending struggle to create a master race of human, bear, shark, squirrel hybrids.

The process however did not go well. William was one of the many Super Human Duds that came from the project. The Germans quickly tossed the project when they saw that he turned out as nothing more than a proper English gent who craved salmon, had gills in an unsightly area that made it possible for him to breath underwater through the nether regions and although the squirrel DNA aloud him to be ungodly fast, he was easily distracted by anything sparkly. To add insult to injury, he hated sauerkraut and refused to learn the German language unlike the Germans previous experiment Code Name: Frenchy. The full details on this experiment are still unknown although William still states to this day "Frenchy was an ass".

He was thrown out of Germany after being bound and gagged and shot from the torpedo tube of a U-boat only to be picked up by a group of gay English sailors, who, mistaking him for one of their own, took him aboard and taught him how to dance.

Three years later He stepped ashore in Greenland and never returned to the sea. There he remained, finding work as a street performer, dancing and telling jokes while catching live salmon in his mouth. He was soon discovered by The Hodgepodge society whilst they were out scouting locations in Greenland for their post zombie apocalypse base for humor research to see if Zombies could be destroyed by the power of the funny HAHA. They instead found William performing on a pier and after seeing his act decided he had what it took to not only be an honorary member but lead their Hodgepodge Society Zombie Humor Research in Greenland where he remains to this day, creating zombie weaponry, dancing and painting portraits of himself in his spare time.

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